Turn around bright eyes...

Sometimes, well often I feel, like the bright spot in my life is my littlest. He is just 2, but he actually seems to like me and want me. All the other kids by this age had moved onto the mommy phase, the want mommy day and night. He actually seems to want me. He can wake up from a nightmare and ask for Daddy. I can be sitting here at the computer and he can want up on me. Or I can be sitting anywhere and he can actually just want to cuddle with me. Being wanted and needed like that feels so good. It may just be part of his age, but since I do not get that feeling elsewhere it makes you thrive on it even more. We have before sat on the couch and just cuddled for an hour watching some tv show I do not remember. For a 2 year old to do that its rare, they are usually up and running around doing something, unless they are exhausted and want to go to bed.

I think everyone goes through moods where they need to be cuddled and then they need to be the cuddler. They need to have someone latch onto them, make them feel needed, required, wanted, loved. And there are times they just need that other person there, so they can latch onto something solid to hold onto, to give them the closeness they need. The support. Maybe if you are missing those two things you are missing something in your relationship, and that deteriorates it. Or maybe its just me. Not sure I guess I have only really been in one long relationship in my life, long being more than 6 months. But thats what I feel like I need. Sometimes to be the rock, the foundation, the source of strength, and then other times to be the moss, clinging to the rock for support, steadfastness, and as a base so that I can grow.

I still find posting these carthritic, but there is something to be said for feedback, to know that you have been heard. Thats the only thing missing. But at the least I am getting to express myself, which is far better than I have felt before. And who knows, maybe someone will stumble across this at some point and feel like dropping a note...