Things...

So its now been two weeks since I got my raise and bonus. I still have yet to tell my wife. I do not know why, there have been opportunities to do it, but I just have not. Am I secretly desiring for something to happen so I can do something with it that I want to. Do I want to run away and am planning on using that as my seed money? I don't know but I really should do something with it, its really silly to just keep walking around with a check, and eventually I am guessing she will notice the difference in my pay check.

So a couple of weeks back I brought up the whole lack of sex thing, told her I figured she was not interested in me at all. Of course she turns around and says no thats not true at all I am the only man she can think of now. Not sure if I believe that, and of course she has to say she is sure that I look at other women and she understands that. Gesh talk about attempted guilt trip. Well it did not really work. I told her I really wished we had intimacy more. She said she did too. And of course we fooled around that night. Then her "friend" came for her monthly visit, and nothing. Then a really good night, and well nothing much since. I don't know, what more can I do but say the problem, say what I want, and work to change it but get nothing.

Once, we both were to write up a list of things we wanted to try. I wrote up my list and showed her. She seemed to get bothered, never wrote up her list, and that was the end of that. I did not think I was that wakko...

On a side note, the friend I have mentioned before, appears to be getting more interested in S&M at least some of the minor bits of it. She has found a few blogs she likes that detail some minor master slave relationships. So I went out and bought her Beauty's Punishment by Anne Rice. I have not read it myself but I have heard its good, at least a good bit of erotica. I mailed it off. If my wife found out she no doubt would assume the worst and flip out. And not sure I would mind. Oh well enough for now.